Procrastinet

Week 3 Can Kiss My Tuches

filed under: Stuff you never, ever needed to know

So I was jamming along through the 100 Pushups program, getting close to the daily numbers even when I didn't hit them. I improved from 23 to 32 in two weeks. Not exactly on pace to hit 100 four weeks later, but a fair improvement.

Then I got to Week 3.

Mind you, the creator of the site (who did not come up with the program - he's simply re-printing it based on something he found on the intarwebs years ago which has since disappeared) has admitted that he himself was totally unable to make the numbers of Week 3 and had to repeat it this time around.

Yeah.

The problem is, if you started with lower-middle ability, the numbers just aren't possible. Today's goal was 25/17/17/15/25+, which totals out to 99 pushups. With only 60 second breaks. Dude: 60ish just kicked my ass FOUR DAYS AGO. How am I magically supposed to do 99?!

So I hit the near-comical 25/17/8, and then had to take a several minute rest. Then I got 13, waited another 3 minutes or so, and got 7. At that point I had to really concentrate on not barfing. So: instead of 99 I totalled 70. Which is, for those keeping score at home, NOT EVEN CLOSE.

I've been building to this conclusion but now it's official: I call shenanigans on the whole 100 Pushups program. Clearly it is a good way to increase the number of pushups you can do, fairly quickly. I'm still glad I'm doing it.

But the claim that *anyone* can do 100 pushups within six weeks is completely bogus. It's snake oil.

Maybe - MAYBE - if you started already able to do 50+. But for noodle-armed 23-pushup dumplings like myself? The chances that I will bang out 100 pushups without a break three and a half weeks from now are approximately - wait, carry the two, minus four - nil.

But hey. I just did 70 pushups. My triceps think they're on someone else entirely.

UPDATE:

Warning: Plateau ahead.

I decided, in light of my poor performance of Week 3/Day 1, to repeat the day rather than try to increase a number I abjectly failed to hit to begin with.

Especially since, in the meantime, my opponent texted me to commiserate, saying Day 1 of Week 3 was a nightmare. And that he had barely gotten it done. Which means of course that, unlike me, he DID get it done. While I fell 29 pushups short. He added one for luck to hit a round 100, too.

I was hoping to improve somewhat today, and I did. By one pushup. ONE. Instead of 7 on the third set, I hit 8. Whoop de doo, Mary.

So tonight I was not stopping before I, too, had done 100 pushups, no matter how long it took. It went like this: 25/17/8... 9/8... 7/5... 5... 5... 5... 6. That's right biotches. ONE HUNDRED PUSHIZZLES.

It only took me about... oh... 20 minutes.

Hopefully, the owies in my arms right now mean that, if I give myself two days off to recover, I'll have broken the plateau. We'll see on Sunday morning.

FURTHER UPDATE:

Plateau broken. This morning it went like this: 25/17/16(!)/9/8/6/6/7/6, with true 60 second breaks between (instead of the extended breaks I was forced to resort to the last two tries). Which totals up to, hang on let me get my abacus, ONE HUNDRED PUSHPOPS. In probably less than fifteen minutes. It's a far cry from 100 in one go, but it's better than it was.

The wife and I have a running joke: when one of us is impossibly behind in a game, and the sure-to-be-loser finally has one good thing happen (like getting a second wedgie in Trivial Pursuit when the opponent already has a full pie), we shout "STORMING!" to indicate that we're storming back into contention.

So watch out, Dr. Whatsyername. I'm STORMING.

STORMING UPDATE:

7/16/08: 25/17/17/12/8/9/8/7 = 103 pushnitz in 8 goes.

7/18/2008: "Day 2" of Week Three. Supposed to be 27/19/19/15/25+. Actual: 27/19/17/10/7/7/6/6/6 = 105 pusht.

7/22/2008: "Day 3" of Week Three. Target: 30/22/22/20/27+. Actual (GET THIS!): 30/22/22/20/12/10/3*. ONE HUNDRED NINETEEN PUSHITS!

And the 3 at the end get a * because they were super slow (8 count up, 4 count down) with my feet up on the couch, for extra burn.

Anyway: I got the first four sets! Okay, so maybe my butt led for #s 18, 19 and 20 on the 4th, but I got them! RIPPED!

Posted by rjt at July 7, 2008 11:53 PM