Procrastinet

good vibes to you & yours, amigo.

a cold, rainy day.

fry

The last bit of the piece on Squirrely's diagnosis is a stunner!

As you say, Procrastimom is not a fan of the current tendency to diagnose as a syndrome or disorder or pathology every diversion from the human average, thus giving all concerned the opportunity to identify themselves as victims in some way and in need of compensation. In some cases, looked at from other perspectives, these same disorders (especially in their milder varieties) may confer genuine benefits or gifts.

I say the above because how we look at something (curse or blessing) has a great deal to do with how we handle it and how it affects our experience.

Your generation is too young to remember the determination of certain people (mostly of the Catholic faith and wearing long black robes) to force left handed children to become right handed (without understanding the connection between handedness and brain organization.) It was not a good plan.

On the other hand, having diagnosed such a diversion from the average as a problem, if there are ways to provide learning that make life easier for child and parents, and if a diagnosis and the effort to ameliorate it provides parents with those ways, then that may well be worth celebrating. Squirrely's parents are likely to find it so! The more they learn about how to reach and teach their son, the better. (It is important, though, that he relates to *them*--a powerful aid in whatever they end up doing.)

It is when the most common and recommended method of dealing with diversions from the average is long term medication that affects brain chemistry and personality in small children in ways we do not yet understand (as with ADD and ADHD) that I tend to be concerned.

It is also interesting that in a world where unusually bright people are deeply suspect and where the brightest children get the least attention in the educational system and most routinely get most of their most basic learning needs ignored or scorned, the explosion of diagnoses of "autistic spectrum disorders" affects the brightest children most often. This tends to make me suspicious...

Add to that the lists of characteristics of some of these disorders (again, especially in the milder forms) that are virtually identical to the lists of characteristics of unusually bright kids, and my suspicions seem at least sane.

On the other hand, as long as kids aren't just willy-nilly drugged into compliance with standards for what is average (aka "norms"), it's a matter of terminology and personal choice, and who am I to question those for anyone else?

My heart goes out to Squirrely's parents as they make their choices. They love their son and they "can’t do it wrong."

All I can say is I will never forgive myself for the day I looked at my daughter differently because she was given a developmental diagnosis that was behind the curve. I thought all our plans for the life we expected to have with her were being dashed, and that we'd have to move into some other special mode. I considered her for a moment not as my kid but as a disorder with my kid underneath. I was a fool.
Truth is, whatever adaptations you make for your child, they are the normal. That's just the gear you slip into, the kid doesn't change, and neither does the way you value her.
So now we have whopping huge portions of totally enjoyable life with occasional side dishes of problems - like the little cup of coleslaw at the diner.
Kids are great, pass the ketchup.

Beautifully said!!!!