Procrastinet

The PolenBlog Goes Meta

filed under: Stuff to laugh at

The PolenBlog is the blog of the Polenberg "Twins," so named because at some point long ago a friend of Twin A's had trouble telling them apart, I believe. They are named in defiance of chronology, as Twin C is the oldest and Twin D is the youngest, unless I have them confused which is entirely possible - the only one other than C that I've really met is A, who at the time was called "Scrod."

Anyway, Twin C is away for a week on a double-super-secret tv shoot that he can't talk about because of NDAs (as in "Non Disclosure Agreement," not NWA, the dudes who sang "Straight Outta Compton," although Twin C did introduce me to them, as he was into gangsta rap remarkably early for a skinny jew from Poughkeepsie). While he's away, the other Twins are wreaking havoc.

Twin B posts fairly seldom, and when he does it's usually brief and discursive. He outdoes himself with "when the C is away the B shal play."

[Polenberg Glossary: "PSB" refers to Twin C's girlfriend, and stands for "Princess Sugar Britches."]

Twin A manages the site but posts less than C, who writes pretty much every day in bitch-about-my-job/talk-about-my-life fashion. A spends a lot of time making electronic things go beep in an arty and/or party kind of way, apparently. But C's absence has inspired him to massive flights of metafictional fancy, as he writes his version of Twin C's Adventures.

A sample from Part I of his epic:

Twin C stepped onto the ship. His pants were long and khaki, and his cuffs got slightly wet with the condensation on the deck. A swarthy man in a polo shirt with a coporate logo looked him in the eye. The parrot on his shoulder spread its wings, which were adorned with the same logo. “Welcome to MegaConComCruise Corporate Enterprises,” the pirate drawled. “Skkkraw!”, skkrawed the parrot. “Here, have a free MegaConComCruise pegleg.” The pirate handed the pegleg to Twin C.

Boy, Twin C thought. I am sure glad I dressed business casual.

And from Part II:

Suddenly he knew what to do. He grabbed the bacon, and shoved it into the cheezy grits. “Noooo! Our Hegelian nature will cause us to explode!”, they screamed in unison. And BOOM! A massive matter-antimatter style explosion ensued.

Now all they need is a post from the elusive Twin D (there's talk of a Twin E but apparently he was eaten by wolves).

Posted by rjt at July 27, 2005 05:15 PM