July 21, 2005
Clarkson Almost Loses Me My Job
filed under: Idle ChatterIn the course of a review of the Lamborghini Gallardo, Jeremy Clarkson (whose car reviews I'm still reading at a pace of a half dozen per day - sadly, I'm almost through them) wrote a paragraph that caused me to rupture myself internally trying not to hoot with laughter:
Oh, the engine makes a noise all right, but it doesn’t prompt the sort of purple prose I normally use for cars of this type. There’s no spine-tingling howl. It doesn’t sound like Brian Blessed on the verge of an orgasm or Tom Jones making man-love for the first time.
In case you didn't know, this is Brian Blessed.
So, delightfully, is this.
And here's an interview that describes him as "a cross between a Yeti and the Dalai Lama."
Brian Blessed rules.
Posted by rjt at July 21, 2005 03:11 PMMy favorite Brian Blessed role has to be Prince Vultan (the king of the hawk guys) in Flash Gordon. In a movie filled with scenery chewing at its absolute finest, he still managed to stand out as a sort of Falstaff-with-wings. He is a Hall-of-Fame "That Guy": you know you've seen him in a million things but you can never remember his name, thus, he's "That Guy...you know, the guy who played the king of the hawk-men in Flash Gordon...That Guy!!!". Also known as "the guy we'll get when John Rhys-Davies is booked", judging by his IMDB.com resume.
Posted by: Scotso the Lawbot at July 22, 2005 10:54 AMHe is the KING of the That Guys.
My favorite: playing the Duke of Exeter in Branagh's Henry V (and getting to thunder the deathless line: "TENNIS BAWLS..."), at Agincourt, when it's gone all rainy and slow motion (best... battle scene... ever...), Blessed is mauling some guy with his mace, windmilling it down on the guy over and over, and he opens his mouth to yell and it looks like his whole head splits in half like a Canadian on South Park, like he's going to eat the guy.
Seriously, Blessed has the biggest mouth of any living human.
Checking IMDB just now, I see that Branagh has made an As You Like It, with Blessed as Duke Frederick, Bryce Dallas Howard (loveyoukissyou) as Rosalind, Alfred Molina as Touchstone (!!), and Kevin Kline as Jaques. Which is all such excellent casting that my Shakespearegeek nerves are thrumming.
Posted by: rjt at July 22, 2005 11:37 AMIt is amazing how people just kind of got sick of Kenneth Branagh doing Shakespeare movies. Maybe he was just too good at it.
Just as an aside, experts are still debating why Procrastinet does not have imdb.com on its list of procrastination-aiding links. Seriously, how long did you spend link-jumping on Mr. Blessed's extensive resume? I will bet a fiver it was at least 15 minutes.
Posted by: Scotso the Lawbot at July 22, 2005 12:20 PMTell you what - I'll bet you fifteen it was more like five! D'oh!
However, you are correct about the time-wasting potential of imdb. I carry a slight grudge against them, however, for not building in a six-degrees feature, where you could type in two names and figure out how they are connected and/or what they did together. It's something I've wanted to be able to do many times.
Re: Branagh: I think it was a one-two punch of a four+ hour Hamlet which even *I* didn't watch (I mean come ON, who the heck does Hamlet UNCUT and no that's not a porno title), followed by Love's Labour's starring Alicia Silverstone. He missed high and missed low within two movies. Plus yeah, he's awfully self-congratulatory-feeling about being a friggin genius. And then he divorced Emma Thompson which means he's either a prick or stupid or both.
Still. When he's good, jesus god is he good.
Reading the cast of AYLI, I actually wanted to see it very badly. And re-watch HyV while I'm at it (for maximum Shakesgeekness, please pronounce that "Hi Five").
Posted by: rjt at July 22, 2005 01:05 PMFavorite "Blessed" moment in HV is still a very small thing: in the French court when asked what will happen if the French will not yield to the English he says "Bloody Constraint" with this hint of a smile and a gleam in his eye over spilling French blood.
Still make sme laugh, EVERY time I see it!