March 16, 2005
The Random Creativity of Craigslist
filed under: Stuff to laugh atCraigslist is an amazing beast. First of all, it's free, with no advertising. I'm not at all sure how that's possible. It seems almost communist.
Second of all, you get the lowest and highest of human nature - though certainly more of the lowest. Free? Anonymous? Sign up every sleazebag sociopath with a mouse.
But on the "highest" tip, every once in a while a gem will turn up - something someone spent a great deal of creativity and skill writing, only to post anonymously. What strange closet cases these people are - doing such good work and then tossing it, randomly, out into the cyber void. Best case scenario, they get the thrill of a "Best of Craigslist" nod. Anonymously.
Not me, man. If I wrote something quirky, clever, and fun like this post, I'd have to make damn sure everybody knew it was me. This person went to the trouble of creating a distinctive, wry voice, an absurdist caricature with a nice light touch, and then dropped it like chum into the feeding frenzy - no hook, no line, nothing to tie the creation to the creator.
So I'll just pile on to this anonymous scribbler's conceptual accolades, and say "well done, whoever you are."
An excerpt:
I am a pretty strong guy. And I can tell that I am much stronger than a lot of you weak women out there. When I go to the gym, I look around at all the girls on the machines struggling to make 25 pounds bounce up and down on the cord as they lift, curl, press or whatever it is they just can't do as well as me.There are guys there too, but I don't look at them of course because they are dudes.
I look at the weak women with their soft bodies and perfumed flesh. Sometimes I feel like walking over to them and offering to lift the weight for them. Why strain yourself. Let me lift that for you honey. Where? Up and down? I can do that. How many times? Why don't you sit down and rest while I lift it. Such a pretty girl, you sit and watch me.
I feel that if I were to do this, the girl would see that the weight room is a waste of her time in the first place. A better use of time might be to just learn to carry a 30 pound bag of rice in your arms while shopping or sauteeing something - so you won't just have to sit home napping when you have your first baby - you will be able to do stuff. I like girls who do stuff.
Anyhow, as for the gym, I would prefer if the girls only used the stairmaster. Because being strong like me, when I get tired from my long workout, I like to see some in-shape girl butts in tights bouncing up and down the stairmaster. Overall, it is better as well because your butt will help you attract guys like me and seduce me into bed with you. If your butt is nice enough, I might even marry you, or let you cook for me.
The title, by the way, is "I am stronger than most of you weak girls who cry."
Posted by rjt at March 16, 2005 12:05 PM