Procrastinet

Another Country Heard From

filed under: Procrastinet Guests

The announcement of this year's Oscar nominations has sent friend-of-Procrastinet Bob L into a roaring, frothing tizzy, which delighted me so much in email form that I asked his permission to reprint it here, in whole. Thus continues Procrastinet's unofficial Things We're Honked Off at Hollywood About Week:

I know you've waited a long time to hear me say this so here it goes...

...the Oscars suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They know as much about filmmaking as I do about computers... now how do I "send" this to you... oh, sorry.

Anyway, the snubbing of Paul Giamatti (one of our best actors, period.) and the hailing of Sequoias like Clint Eastwood has gone too far. Also, I think Morgan Freeman is one of the best to grace a screen but come on, you don't make up for previous snubs by praising a walk in the park for him... fuck!!! Pardon my languauge... and the language to come.

Anyway, whenever they take a step forward (nominating Sideways for best picture or not being afraid to nominate Don Cheadle or Sophie Okonedo) they take two steps back by giving "long overdue" or "forgive us for our stupidity, but we always thought you were brilliant" nominations by the handful.

Why I'm getting upset, who knows?

Fer Fucksake people, the plane has crashed into the mountain!!!

The Aviator????

BOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dick-Caprio (alright that was childish... but so is he!) over Paul Giamatti?

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind... not up for Best Picture???

To quote Yukon Cornelius "...this country is as thick as Peanut Butter."

Or to quote Don Cornelius "...and the answer to the Soul Train word scramble is... Peaches and Herb? ...again? ...whos' choosing these fuckin' things?"

So to conclude, as if you didn't know this before: "awards mean nothing... and sadly, everything in this day and age."

I'm going to have that tatooed on my taint. So in case I ever win one of these fuckers I can drop trou and make page six!

Sorry to rant folks but if there are going to be "awards" out there they may as well go to the right people... or at least someone close!!!

Well I suppose I can't have the Red Sox and Patriots win in the same year and expect the masses to be in agreement on such frivilousness as the Oscars or the leader of the free world!?!?!

Well, two out four... is bad!!! Wake up you drones!

"God Bless America...wherever it is?"

Love Bob.

p.s. I may still have an Oscar party at my place...just as a form of cardio.

This announcement was brought to you by a sane person, contrary to popular belief.

I love it when my friends get so mad they use more exclamation points than a ritalin-hopped preteen with unlimited text messages. OMG! LOL! ROFLMAO!!!!!

Anyone interested in attending Bob's Oscar party, drop me a line.

Posted by rjt at January 26, 2005 12:17 PM