Procrastinet

Introducing: Nicholas Seeley

filed under: Despatches , Procrastinet Guests

Now, when you hear "post-Elizabethan dramaturg/text junkie" you probably don't picture a young Henry Rollins. With multiple tattoos, a mostly shaved head, bulging muscles and a bit of a rage control issue. But that's only 'cause you don't know Nick.

Here's Nick's first entry from his stay in Cambodia, a year ago:

Holy fucking shit, guys: I'm in Cambodia.

The trip was without incident. About halfway through The Lizzie McGuire Movie we flew over Kashmir, where people were shooting each other, but I'm relieved to say their deaths did not interfere with our in-flight entertainment.

Cambodian and Thai immigration were only mild headaches, compared to the shit I went through trying to get into Canada last week, and I met my editor at the airport all right.

My apartment is in a garrett overlooking the Royal Museum, where the bats live - unfortunately night falls early here, so I didn't get to see them fly. Right around the corner is the Foreign Correspondant's Club.

I'm writing from an internet cafe which seems to double as home to a family of five, and also possibly a garage.

This country seems crazy. They have internet and motorcycles, all they lack is buildings: every street looks like london in the blitz, a row of bombed out storefronts and gaping, roomless buildings from which spill a profusion of children, mechanics, plastic furniture, drunks, and electronic equipment.

The movie theatres only show Thai movies, but I just had dinner in a place that was getting Starz movie channel on its TV. A Coldplay concert was showing, it was a little slice of America abroad. Did I mention I really, really hate that fucking band?

The motos refuel from barrels by the side of the road, and they're like locusts: the only things that outnumber them are the little tan geckos that crawl over the walls of the buildings. Presumably cheaper than Raid.

I am beginning to understand why people worried about my vegetarianism; I just had some broccoli in brown sauce which contained an unusually high amount of un-announced squid. It was nevertheless excellent. And beer is 80 cents a pint.

These are my discoveries for the evening; I'm sure there will be more. I don't have to report to the office until tuesday, so tomorrow I plan to grab a passing biker, and explore...

And this week, as he prepares to leave for Jordan:

I'm in VA now, and jesus friggin christ people are crazy here. I had a long conversation last night with a stoned redneck-hippie crossbreed who was explaining to me how holding a gun on a living creature was the best high there was, and how he was going to enlist in the army so that he could get more experience killing people. Deer just don't plead for mercy realistically enough!

After quoting a local newspaper story about a 10-year-old girl's birthday party where her parents let her and her friends play Hilton Sisters for the day, complete with a stretch Ford Excursion (which they trashed), Nick closes with:

Where is an outbreak of ebola virus when you really need one?

Needless to say, I look forward to our first series of Procrastinet Despatches, and getting Nick's unique eye on the Middle East.

Safe passage to Amman, Nick, we look forward to hearing from you.

Posted by rjt at October 5, 2004 12:03 PM