May 26, 2004
Guest Entries: Beatrice
filed under: Idle Chatter
In case anyone thought I was kidding about wanting guest contributions for Procrastinet, here's our West Coast Correspondent, the beloved Beatrice:
Five years ago in a commercial acting class I was asked to write a commercial type monologue of a character telling a story of herself in the first person and to use the chosen product (Paxil) to help make the point.I found this writing last week as I was going through a box of notebooks. I laughed my ass off.
For those of you who know me – you’ll get it.
For the others – I used to think I wasn’t so strange…but maybe I am.
Once upon a time, there was a petite girl afraid of tall people. Tall people made her feel young and inferior. Then one day this petite girl met a very tall lanky woman who walked with her shoulders slouched and head titled downward. The tall woman felt has if she was an Amaranthus among a meadow of Naturalized Violets. Day dreaming during botany class the eyes of two lonely souls connected and a lifelong friendship blossomed. From then on they walked through the same garden.
It’s the same way with Paxil. Paxil is a ray of sunshine for people with social anxiety disorders. With Paxil everyone will feel as if they are part of the same beautiful garden.
In Elementary School I was a head shorter than the other students and nicknames such as Small Fry were thrown in my direction with ease. In Middle School, rather than want to kiss me, the boys picked me up and tossed me over their heads as if I were a rag doll. But by High School I found Paxil. Paxil gave me the confidence to stand tall and try out for cheerleading. I skipped the JV team, flipped directly into the Varsity squad, and quickly ascended to the top of the pyramid. Thanks to my light frame, petite stature, and Paxil, I soared high.
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When she sent me this, Bea asked "Is this funny or is it just me?"
I replied "Both. It is funny. And it is just you."
side note: is it just me, or does the chick on the Paxil website look like a terribly stressed-out version of Katy Pfaffl?